The Get Ready Money Podcast

Change Your Relationship With Money

• Tony Steuer

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On this episode of The Get Ready Money Podcast, I spoke with Misty Lynch, CEO of Sound View Advisors, podcast and reality tv show host about changing the way we think about our relationship with money,


In this episode we discussed:

  • Be accepting of the way things are. 
  • Don’t let labels hold you back, it’s important to not think of things as good or bad. 
  • Question your beliefs. 
  • Couples should be open minded about what’s important to each other.
  • How to overcome fear with our money. 
  • Ask yourself what’s the worst case scenario? It’s oftentimes not that bad. 

Misty Lynch, CFP® is the CEO of Sound View Financial Advisors. Misty helps busy business owners and executives handle finances (and life) with confidence using financial planning, investment management, and money mindset coaching strategies. Misty hosts the reality TV series Heartbroke and the weekly podcast Demystifying Money. 

She is a personal finance expert and a resource for media outlets including The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, CNBC, CNN, Investopedia, Real Simple, Student Loan Hero and many others. Investopedia named her one of the Top 100 Financial Advisors in 2021 and US News and World Report named her one of the 9 Women in Finance to Follow "because sometimes you need life advice, not just financial advice".


Connect with Misty Lynch:

Website:https://mistylynch.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mistylynch/

Sound View Advisors Website: https://www.soundviewadvisors.com



Books:

Demystifying Money: Permanently Reprogram Your Money Mindset to Achieve the Wealth and Success You Deserve (Amazon) https://amzn.to/497aQwu



Podcast:

Demystifying Money Podcast: https://mistylynch.com/podcast/


TV Series:

Heartbroke: https://mistylynch.com/heartbroke/



Resources mentioned:

Monarch Money (money management app): https://www.monarchmoney.com

Brightfin (budgeting/spending app): https://brightfin.io

Support the show

The Get Ready Money Podcast and its guests do not provide investment advice. All content is for educational purposes. Guest opinions do not necessarily reflect the opinions of The Get Ready Money Podcast and Tony Steuer.

Speaker 1:

Are you looking to get ready, be prepared and transform your financial future? Then you've come to the right place. This is the Get Ready Money Podcast with Tony Stewart, where Tony has insightful conversations with financial experts who are changing the way we think about money. Catch up on the latest financial trends and hear practical advice from Tony and his expert guests so you can build healthy habits that work, Be empowered with tips for implementing small changes that can have a big impact on your financial future. So sit back and get ready to hear from today's guest.

Speaker 2:

Welcome to the Get Ready Money podcast changing the way we think about money. I'm pleased to be joined today by Misty Lynch. Misty is the CEO of Soundview Advisors as well as a podcast and reality TV show host. In this episode, we'll be discussing Misty's insights on how we change the way we think about money and how to improve our relationship with money. Misty, welcome to the Get Ready Money podcast. Thanks for joining us today.

Speaker 3:

Thank you for having me on today, Tony.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, excited for this conversation. So this is where I start with all the guests. Tell us a little bit about yourself. What is your origin story? Where I start with all?

Speaker 3:

the guests. Tell us a little bit about yourself. What is your origin story? Well, I guess I've always kind of been interested in money. I suppose my origin story in the finance world probably starts in about like sixth grade, so when I was a child you know, my kids are 10 and 12 now, so kind of most of my life up to that point my father owned a business and we were pretty successful, financially At least. We didn't worry or think about money very much at all.

Speaker 3:

And then around 1990 or 91, my father's business dried up, changed, and so it was really kind of an interesting time where I felt like all we talked about at home was money. It was a huge issue for our family and, you know, kind of kind of a scary time where we had to do things like we had to move, we had to sell our home, we had to sell the cars, we had to like. Everything seemed to change in my mind as a child like overnight. And so you know, I felt like, you know, I'd seen comfort, I've seen, you know. And then we kind of moved into a different environment where we were in smaller apartments and living in a town, where we moved into a great town, where it was pretty small town, good schools, but I could tell there was a big difference between me and a lot of the other kids in the town who were riding horses and doing all sorts of different things with their spare time. So, yeah, I remember being in sixth grade and we did a stock market contest and I remember just being so fascinated with the idea of taking your money, putting it somewhere else in businesses and investing it and then having that, you know, to grow wealth that way, and so I thought I'd solved my parents' problems.

Speaker 3:

Now I've learned a lot more about personal finance to know that you can't invest your way out of poverty. You know, like there's there's certain things that you know have to happen in order to do well. But the thought stayed in my head about how do I figure this out? Because I really, you know it was hard to see the struggles that we face on a pretty regular basis, being, you know, entrepreneurs and you know, trying to figure out a way to get by. And so, yeah, I always kind of was interested in money. At least I wasn't afraid of it, just because I think I was so numb to talking about it all the time, because it just seemed like it was always part of our lives.

Speaker 3:

So that's kind of where I got my start and then, you know, went to college at UConn, kind of graduated and got a job in insurance at first, because that was what was hiring and I lived in Connecticut and there was a lot of good companies and good, good jobs and so.

Speaker 3:

But then I kind of fell back into planning and investing when that field kind of was even revealed to me as an even an option at that point. So yeah, I've worked in all different areas. As far as you know, worked at John Hancock for a while in compliance, and just always kind of stayed in the space but really felt, like, you know, the calling to go work with people independently, one-on-one, to take them from the beginning to end, and do the investing, do the planning together. That really, you know, that was always in the back of my mind, even though I was very afraid of being self-employed because of what I'd seen in the past. But so now, you know, things kind of worked out and around 2020, I turned 40, decided I was just going to do it. So I ended up leaving a nice corporate job to be, you know, a financial advisor and CFP with my own clients and really haven't looked back from there.

Speaker 2:

That's awesome. That's quite a story and so much in there. One of the things I was wondering if we could talk about for a minute is the fear that you overcame, because so many people have fear when it relates to their financial lives and you could have let the fear paralyze you, but you didn't. Do you have any tips for people who are feeling that fear themselves?

Speaker 3:

Oh, yeah, I think I've. I've talked to you know, people are feeling a lot of fear lately and I think, maybe you know, I I was afraid that, if you know, I was self-employed like what if all my clients leave? What if I end up in this situation? And I realized, though, because I'd gone through it personally we didn't die when I felt like we didn't things changed, but like what happens, and so I kind of saw the worst case scenario and was able, in my head, to think like, okay, well, I have more money saved now before I left. You know, or, okay, this is, you know, this is how much it costs to be us a month. I knew those things from.

Speaker 3:

I've been a CFP since 2011,. Years before I left to actually work for myself. And my worst case scenario like my biggest fear, you know, because I'd seen running out of money and so I'd kind of always planned for that. But I think, when I think about what my biggest fear would be, sometimes I'll talk to people and say, you know, okay, maybe they're debating leaving a company or going to work for themselves or doing taking a risk on their own, on themselves, and then we'll ask them like okay, well, what's the worst case scenario and they're like, well, I'd go get a job like this, and so, basically the worst case scenario. And they're like, well, I'd go get a job like this. And so, basically, the worst case scenario is exactly what they're doing today, every day.

Speaker 3:

To me, that's kind of scary to feel like I'd rather live my worst case scenario on a daily basis than take a risk that could lead to a lot more happiness. So it's, there's always going to be a little bit of fear and there's nothing that's really a hundred percent safe, whether you work for someone else or for yourself. So I think, really, sometimes it's just letting our brains get the best of us that keeps us from doing anything different, because really we want to stay alive. And so all those fears, they're definitely. They're definitely real and they're definitely something that people you know it's hard to work through on your own. They're definitely real and they're definitely something that people you know it's hard to work through on your own.

Speaker 2:

Well, I think that's well. You said so much in there. That's amazing. But I think one of the things is the fears are real and legitimate. But I love you know what you said about asking yourself what's the worst possible thing that can happen, and usually it's not that bad or it's something that you can overcome.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, or it might be like you know, I've seen some people who really don't like their nine to five job or they don't like their boss, and so they know they could get another job like that again, and so sometimes it's it's tricky and sometimes it takes a while to. And also, looking at the math, how much does it cost? How much do you need to make? How much maybe you don't need to make? What your salary is in order to, you know, live your life the way that you want?

Speaker 3:

It just feels like that's what you're worth, because that's what somebody has paid you in the past. So we don't spend a lot of time thinking about these things or poking at them or asking questions, because we're just, you know, we're busy with the day to day things that go on in our lives. So it's really worth some conversations, and sometimes it's not the right thing for people to you know, work for themselves or anything. There's a lot of different ways to make it work, but if you're somebody who's feeling that that fear, but that pull is still there to do something different, eventually it might get too hard to ignore that's awesome.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you know, I, I hear you and I think you also said something there too. That I wanted to key on is that it's important to have the conversations and to talk about it because, like in your situation, part of it goes back to your experiences as a kid, and I know that, while my situation I was fortunate, it was my grandfather and not my father, but hearing about my grandfather going broke really, you know, impacted my early thinking on financial stability. It's like he lost everything. He owned a chain of laundromats Okay, I'm going to date myself because this was during the great depression, so I'm dating myself a little bit here. But you know, hearing those stories, you know that he had a successful business and he lost it and you know what he went through to regain his financial stability. It impacted me, it impacted my father and him being a little conservative with his investments. So those things are real.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, and I think you know you could have two people in the same family that have a different experience coming out of it.

Speaker 3:

So, especially when I talk to people in relationships where they're like, well, I don't understand why they think this way and I don't understand why they think this way and I don't understand why they think this way, we all have such a different experience, especially with money, which is something that we start to pick up on when we're very young, even before we even know how to use it, and so it's very unlikely that two people would have the exact same beliefs. But I think in general, if you could kind of find some consensus, there can be a lot of success. But it's definitely very personal and it can feel like the truth, even though it just is what's happened to us or what we've been told over and over again. So it's really interesting when you get people especially when you get people together, business partners or couples to talk about it Really see if you can make some progress at least on understanding each other really see if you can make some progress at least on understanding each other.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, well, and you know, as you point out is you can't deny someone's truth, right? That is how they're feeling and it's important to deal with that, especially as an advisor. Is you know that I know when clients would open up to me about something? Is you know that's something that's real to them, whether or not it's legit? You know I don't want to use the word legitimate, but that's not quite the right word, but you know that's how they're feeling and they're interpreting things. And that is an advisor. I think that's something you need to work through with your clients and that sometimes that's the reason why clients don't do certain things, instead of the clients not being responsive or forgetting.

Speaker 3:

No, I had a friend who was very interested in being a CFP and this was when I was in corporate and he he'd seen me meet with somebody when we were doing some financial planning internally at work and he was like I don't think I could do this. That person's not going to listen to you, they're not going to do what you said. And I said, of course they might not do what I say. That's not the point. You know.

Speaker 3:

I understand we want people to, you know, and I'm sure that, like everybody knows the right thing they should do. They know what they should. You know they should spend less than they make, that they should eat the salad instead of the donut, but it doesn't mean we do it. There's all sorts of things that go on in our head, and so I think that our job as advisors is really to understand and try to help people as much as we can, not just, you know, tell them what to do and hope for the best, because there could be a lot of reasons behind their reluctance to change. So I think it's really interesting to know that as advisors, we have our own biases as well, and so just to be open-minded and really think about the behavioral end and that side of personal finance that has just as much of an impact as the math and the numbers.

Speaker 2:

I think so, because that was something that I always you know that it first mystified me is why would very smart people, presented with a certain use case, not make what I would consider like, hey, this is a no brainer decision. Yeah, Because it was deeper than that.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, and a lot of times it could come.

Speaker 3:

It could be like not just, you know, showing a report and saying this is what we could do it really sometimes. Sometimes I have to, you know, approach it in different ways, and different scenarios make it feel real or kind of. You know, a lot of people have a tough time even imagining themselves being 78 years old, like they can't even think about that future person that they're trying to take care of, while they have these things that are on fire right now in their financial life. So, you know, it's really just kind of figuring out ways to get them to, you know, kind of maybe see things or even be open to seeing things in a different way as opposed to what, what they've always done, which might have, you know, kept them in a spot where they're not completely happy. But people also don't like to be wrong either. So it's definitely kind of being sensitive to that. Yeah, these might've been the best decisions they could make at the time, based on what they knew, but the shame and the guilt isn't going to help anybody make progress.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and clients don't want to be told that they made a wrong move. They're human and you know at that time it seemed like the right move, even if it was something. You know, I dealt with people who had been victims of financial predators and even at that point sometimes you know they defend the decisions they made and that was really hard to break through.

Speaker 3:

But it's, you know that that's part of what financial partners in all these situations like, take advantage of is that people might not say anything, or they might not because it's, it's embarrassing or they don't want to. You know, want people to think that they, you know, aren't, aren't smart, or that they're losing their capabilities to make these decisions, when actually some of these scams and things that we're seeing lately are very sophisticated. So, definitely, having having a person you could talk to and trust even if it's not maybe it is a financial advisor or somebody that you work with that might be, you know, the only person that you say some of these things out loud to and it can be really helpful, especially if you're struggling, you know, with some things that are going on in your financial life.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I mean, one of the worst cases I was involved with, you know, as a litigation consultant, was an elderly couple and the husband had been a very successful attorney and he'd been taken advantage of it and it was very hard for him to admit and to work through it. He eventually did but he didn't want to tell his kids Very embarrassed about the whole thing, but it was something where it was set up for him to easily fall into and that's the trap that anybody can fall into, that kind of trap.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, no, it's definitely. You know, and I think that that's something that happens with a lot of different things and fine, and you know, people make one financial mistake and they feel like that defines who they are forever. And I don't think that's true. I think it's more true that all of us have made some decisions that if we could go back in hindsight, we would do differently, but it doesn't necessarily dictate how things will be for us in the future.

Speaker 3:

I know I've certainly made my share of mistakes and I used to try to hide them. I used to try to hide the fact that I didn't come from money when I first went into finance and it just made for a very inauthentic version of myself that wasn't very successful. And so I feel like more people can kind of relate to like, yeah, these, these are some situations that we're seeing people just like you are having, you know, similar, similar problems and kind of making sure that it's less, you know, less shame and guilt around all of these things that happen in a lot of people's lives. Divorce is all sorts of things that people go through that they feel alone, but they're probably not.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's it. You're not as alone as you think you are. So you know, I want to ask you real quick. You know you're the I think you're the first reality TV series host I've had on the show. So congratulations, I guess. Oh, so tell us a bit about you know your series Heartbroke. What is it?

Speaker 3:

Yeah, so this was kind of an interesting thing. There was there was, I think, an Instagram post that my friend who I used to work with in corporate had seen and they were looking for somebody. They were looking for like a financial planner and a therapist and kind of a combination or two different people, and she sent it to me and said I think they're looking for you. So I sent this random message out to this casting director and and I just kind of introduced myself. This was all during COVID by the way too.

Speaker 3:

So I was working from my attic and it was really looking to kind of, you know, just really. You know I love creating content but just like thinking of like ways that you could connect with more people. And so it was just an interesting thing and it ended up working out where, um, the Singleton foundation, which is a wonderful foundation that is looking to um kind of combine, um, entertainment and, um, financial literacy, so how to get more people to pay attention to this in consumable, consumable ways that are interesting. So they put together a show called Heartbroke where they would work with, you know, 10 couples who are in all sorts of you know different financial situations, different backgrounds, and try to figure out. But all these couples had in common was they were fighting a lot about money and were kind of at the point where it was either going to end the relationship, maybe the relationship would go to the next level.

Speaker 3:

And so I went to California and I worked with 10 couples and kind of talked to them, not just about we did some financial planning, real financial planning, got the numbers. Some financial planning, real financial planning got the, got the numbers how much they made, what they had, um, how much it costs to be them, and then talked about their feelings and thoughts about money and what shaped them and where they came from, to see if we could get um, you know to, to help these relationships, you know. And so it was such an interesting experience. And then I went back six weeks later to see how the couples were doing Short episodes they're probably about 12 to see a start to finish. We kind of like to see how things, what happened afterwards, but we're also very short on time, and so this was a YouTube series and it was really just such a such a great experience.

Speaker 3:

It was a challenge for me because a lot of times, as financial planners, we're working with people that have money or have some money saved or they're, you know, very focused on this, and so this was a little bit different, where financial literacy levels ranged a great deal from none to very focused on the finances and knowing every dollar that was going in and out of the door. So it was a great experience and I really I loved working with the different couples and really, really challenging myself when it came to, you know, trying to get results really quickly, which is interesting because I think in our world, yes, saving and investing can take time, but making changes can happen really quickly if your mindset is right.

Speaker 2:

That's awesome. Do you have a quick tip that you'd give couples that are, I guess, in disagreement about money, for lack of a better word?

Speaker 3:

Yeah. So I think that a lot of times, like I kind of mentioned before, we'd rather be right than happy, and so if we think it's right to save everything that we make and not spend and not splurge on anything, and somebody else feels like you know, you only live once, we should do this thing, it's going to be very hard for you to convince the other person that you're right, um, but I think that if we can be a little more open-minded about why this is important to you, because a lot of times these couples loved each other, you know there was a lot of things that they liked about each other. Some of them probably were attracted to the way that their partner was very different with them, or more free spirited, or maybe they were more conservative and like that that's, you know, solidity kind of made them more attracted. So trying to, instead of focusing so much on, you know, trying to be right, is really just trying to maybe come to some common ground, like what do you both want to do together? What are some of the goals that you really both feel strongly about?

Speaker 3:

And usually there will be something and then trying to figure out like okay, if we look at the financial plan.

Speaker 3:

Can we afford this? And sometimes people underspend because of fear, and some people overspend because they don't know what's going on. So really looking at it and saying like, okay, well now, if we do all these things, and then it comes down to like making just making decisions, like okay, I think we could do this, or I think we could do this in two years, or I think we could do this here and kind of getting that clarity, because a lot of times we just don't really know what the numbers look like because we've never really looked at anything besides the checking account and kept, kept working and so really getting a better understanding about like them financially as a couple, maybe you know, I think, one of the scenarios we looked at the money things looked good and they didn't have to fight over if he got extra guac on his burrito, because those two dollars that meant a lot to him and made her really frustrated long term didn't amount to much.

Speaker 2:

So so it was a fun experience that's awesome and I think you know it sounds like the real basis. There is communication, yeah, and having the conversations yeah, communication is so important.

Speaker 3:

A lot of times that's where it kind of stops, like when we get frustrated, like you know you either don't talk about it, you put your head in the sand, or you know you talk to other people about it and not the person that you're trying to work on the relationship with. So, yeah, communication and even like working on your own thoughts in your own work you could do yourself, can improve a relationship without anybody else participating at all. So kind of you know, even in you know, in my book and when I was talking with the couples, like there was even some journal prompts, some things that they could do on their own to try to get to like why are they so upset about this? Why is you know what, like what might be? You know what they might be thinking or feeling, and that kind of work can be really helpful even if you you don't have anybody, you know, if you're the only one doing the work.

Speaker 2:

That's awesome. That's awesome. Well, let's switch gears. The next set of questions here to get ready questions. These are sort of quick answer questions that I ask all of my guests. The first one is what basic money concept do you wish people knew?

Speaker 3:

You know, I do think the basic, you know, the basics of investing, I think, are important. I come from a family that doesn't have any, didn't have anything invested or saved for the future, um, and we did experience some really good times, you know, financially, in like the 80s, where if just a piece of that money was put away, things, life would be completely different. Or people with young children that are like, oh, education is going to be, even if they start really small, really early, just the way that compounding returns works, because it is really, it's really fascinating. Some people I've talked to who have, you know, a million dollars saved for retirement. They didn't do anything else except for sign up for the 401k when they first started, put in what somebody told them to put in and just continue to work and move on.

Speaker 3:

So I think that that feeling that it has to take so much to get started or that it's so difficult, I really you know, I hope, or that you know there's just not enough, because I feel like if you really get, if you kind of decide to pay yourself first and put something away and just keep going and being consistent with it, it can be really life changing. And I've, you know, I've seen how hard it is when you don't so, and that's one of those things that I just wish. I wish more people knew because, unfortunately, like there really isn't much of a safety net anymore for people, you know there's the pensions and the socials. All those things are kind of they're not going to do enough, and so I think that that, yeah, starting small and starting early can have such a huge impact.

Speaker 2:

That's awesome and that's advice I hear from so many guests, especially about the power of compounding interest, and for people who watch and listen to the show for a while, there is an episode just about the power of compounding interest that I'll reference in the show links so everybody can go back, because there is nothing like compound interest compound interest.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, and I'm glad you know I, if I, if I didn't do that, like I didn't have anything when I first, you know, graduated college and started working, you know, but they save like kind of having something put aside, even if I wasn't sure it allowed me the freedom to go, you know, to leave a comfortable job, you know, to make decisions that I might not have been able to make if I didn't have, you know, something to kind of look at and be like okay, here's my, you know, backup, backup plan If everything, if nothing works out. So it does give you more, more options and and and freedom in the future.

Speaker 2:

That's awesome. That's awesome. What is one simple thing that people can do each year to set themselves up for financial success?

Speaker 3:

I think one thing that they can do each year to set themselves up for financial success. I think one thing that they can do and this is something that I've just started to do with some clients lately is kind of look at I would look at your taxes, and this is a big expense for a lot of people and it's something that a lot of you know people don't really look at, you know, on a regular basis. But yeah, kind of maybe doing some. You know on a on a regular basis, uh, but yeah, kind of maybe doing doing some. You know, when you, when you're looking at you know, did you put enough? You know, could you have some benefits if you put more money in your 401k or if you're self-employed, could you bring down your taxable income if you maybe set up a retirement plan for yourself and put some of that you know profit aside?

Speaker 3:

And I think some people, you know, just don't even know really what the taxes look like, and so that's something where I feel like people might be able to have some quick wins or maybe they could take advantage of things like a health savings account or something where they can, you know, get some some tax benefits now and then some benefits also financially in the future, because universally nobody I've talked to has loved paying a lot of extra in taxes. Or if they're getting a huge return, maybe they're putting too much, maybe they're withholding too much. So doing even just like a tiny bit of tax planning, I think, throughout the year, or working with an accountant, even if it's just once, to kind of see how things look, can be really really helpful for some quick financial wins. So that's something that I've been spending a lot of time talking with people about, especially people who have a small business or something, even on the side and haven't even really thought about it, things that they could do, you know, financially to help them when it comes to the tax situation.

Speaker 2:

Well, that's awesome, and you know I mean. The bottom line is tax planning is for everyone, as you talk yeah, no, definitely Definitely.

Speaker 3:

All right, well, the next question is what is one habit that people can change when it comes to their money? I think that when it comes to money, it's it's all about habits. Everything we do tends to be pretty similar to what we did the day before, the week before and things like that, and so I think that one of the things that people can do, um, is really look at their, look at what they're doing, look at their spending. Maybe take some time to you know if they're not, if they're one of those people that hates budget, maybe, you know, maybe using something like an app or a tool that kind of automatically kind of categorizes things for you, so you can actually take like a bigger picture. Look at where your money's going.

Speaker 3:

I hear that a lot from people where they just feel like it's disappearing, and that could be because they think that they spend this on groceries or gas or transportation, but they're actually spending something different.

Speaker 3:

So I think that that could be something, if you're trying to change your habits, is really kind of taking a look right now at what you're actually doing and then deciding consciously like is this what you want to continue to do or is this something where you want to make some changes.

Speaker 3:

Year end is really good to kind of take a look back and see, like, okay, I remember one year I spent almost I spent a couple thousand dollars on books, and so now I've switched to going to the library, things worked out. I mean, it's just one of those things that I looked at I said, wow, that's a pretty big part of my budget and that was a very I mean, that was one where there was an instant free alternative and so sometimes I have to wait for certain books to appear. But it was just one of those things that I just didn't even notice because it was 20 bucks here, 20 bucks there. So kind of looking at how your, what your habits are, and then seeing if it's something you want to keep or if it's something that you really don't like looking at, and that might be one place that you can start to make some changes.

Speaker 2:

That's awesome advice and I think that's so important just to know your numbers, know what you're doing. If you don't know what you're doing, you can't really make any changes. All right, well, the next question.

Speaker 3:

Oh, sorry, Awareness is super important when it comes to anything that you're trying to improve.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I love that. Awareness is super important and I think sometimes we're not aware or we don't want to be aware of what we're doing, especially with our money. Oh yeah, all right. Well, the next question is what money myth are you trying to break?

Speaker 3:

What money myth? I would say that there is. You know, I think there's a lot of money myths out there. I think the one that that I personally have a hard time with with, with some people, is kind of the ones that made one bad decision or a couple bad decisions have just decided universally I am bad with money, period, and so I feel like if you're somebody who's told yourself that you're bad with money, you're going to probably, like I said before, our brains want to be right, and so you might continue to make decisions that prove that right, even if it's not making you happy or it's hurting you. So I feel like you know.

Speaker 3:

Some people say, you know debt is bad. All of they put these kind of personal labels on certain things you know. So I really feel like one of the things are renting is bad, like, or you know, it's never good, and I think that just having those polarizing views sometimes these things are good. I put my CFP tuition on a credit card, not a low balance, 0%, whatever credit card I could get. Was that a bad financial decision? Potentially, if you're looking at it versus other things, but if it was the only option I had, it was pretty good decision.

Speaker 3:

So I think that those labels of things being good or bad when it comes to us, with our decisions, or some of the things that we might do, like borrowing money or renting an apartment, all of those things I think it's important to not think about those as good or bad. They're neutral. What really is important is kind of what your personal goals are in trying to figure out. You know, yes, you might have had a bad day or made a bad choice, or maybe you wish you bought a home 10 years ago but didn't like. I feel like those labels can definitely hold people back and keep them from making progress, because we just kind of get stuck in these patterns and then just kind of give up and say, okay, well, I guess that's just, you know, I'm never going to be good at this, I'm never going to do it. Instead of, you know, kind of looking at the possibilities there to do better and maybe getting rid of some of those labels that make people feel a certain way, whether it's good or bad.

Speaker 2:

That's awesome. I love that and, as you point out, it's also the context. You know. At the time, putting your CFP fees on a credit card made sense. Yeah, yeah, and maybe in the scope of thing with everything being perfect.

Speaker 3:

Right, yeah, yeah, no. If I had a million other options, that wouldn't have been the right one. Or even when I, you know, when I lived in Brookline, massachusetts, right outside of Boston, I rented because owning was completely out of the question. Did I love living there Absolutely? Was it worth it? Yeah, I think yeah it was. And some people would say, no, it's wrong. I should have lived in a smaller house out in the you know the suburbs somewhere. Maybe I wouldn't have wanted that. So I think it's. You know, a lot of times we have these very strong opinions on what's right or wrong and it's not exactly useful.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, and I think that's exactly it. It's you know what's the right decision for you, you know, and your financial journey is to not get dragged into what somebody else feels your financial journey should be like.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, definitely, because they came from a different experience as well. Very, very few of us are on exact level playing field with what we've got, where we've started, the resources and things like that, so definitely not not that helpful.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's awesome advice. So you know, to start to wrap up what you know. Let's get out the time machine for a minute. What advice would you give your younger self if you could go back in time, knowing what you know now about money? So you know, it sounds like you had already started your financial journey, but what else would you tell your younger self?

Speaker 3:

I would have probably told my younger self to to not have been so angry. I, you know, I I feel like there was a lot of times and you know, now that I'm a mom and I have kids that were my age where I was so mad, you know, like why can't my dad just go get a job? Why can't he just go, you know, do something else? And you know, it didn't make sense to me that we struggled while things were kind of, while he was trying to figure things out and shift gears, but you know, and that made me feel mad, angry at people who had more than me. I had to work through a ton of that because as a financial planner, you're not going to help people build wealth if you don't like wealthy people.

Speaker 3:

So there was a lot of things that I definitely felt, you know, when I was younger, that I wish that I didn't hold on to, and I understand I really didn't know any better at the time. But yeah, like you know, some people aren't meant for a nine to five job. Some people aren't, you know, and so it was. You know, if I could have looked at, you know, maybe had a bigger, a bigger understanding of you know who you know. We all get to know who our parents are eventually, you know when we get older and stuff. I was just so frustrated and mad, like this is what you're supposed to do and and now I realize that that's not necessarily safe or better or true in any scenario. It was just kind of I wish I was able to accept the things the way they were.

Speaker 2:

Oh, I love that Be accepting of the way things are, and I think that's so important. It ties into everything that you've been talking about, because you know, we oftentimes wish or hope that things have been different, but the way things are are what they are, and it's the moves we make going forward, and you know so. I appreciate you sharing your journey. So what is your number one absolute favorite money resource, whether it's a podcast, book, newsletter, app or website that you recommend to other people.

Speaker 3:

Let's see, I think one of the apps I've liked lately um, well, there's two. So, um, I think that you know I've used Monarch Money and then Brightfin with some clients, which is just kind of a very simple. You know you might not want to look at, but I feel like, like I said before, the awareness is so helpful. So these apps really just kind of help you take a look at your spending, how much you have coming in and going out, and it almost like creates that awareness for you.

Speaker 3:

With Brightfin, it kind of builds this 50-20-30 model and you could just swipe things into the right area, so it doesn't, it takes all the difficulty out of it. And then Monarch kind of has like a beautiful little display so you can see, and so I feel like the more that I've shown those to people and work with people, some of the things are the very smallest line item that they have, but they're taking so much of their mental energy stressing out about them and so seeing it in kind of a visual way, um, can be really helpful for people to be like okay, well, maybe if I just make some changes here or do this, things can shape up. So I've really loved the tools and some of the FinTech that's kind of come out there, to kind of take away some of these question marks and guessing about where everything's going and what's going on or how much we're spending, and helping people kind of, yeah, make some better choices by just just creating that awareness.

Speaker 2:

I think that's been really cool, that's awesome and for everybody watching and listening, I'll be sure to put in links to those apps so you can check them out. And, of course, this is not an endorsement for the apps. We're just mentioning them.

Speaker 3:

If you are an Excel, spreadsheet or a pen and paper person, that is great too. It's just, you know, I feel like a lot of times people feel like oh, it's so overwhelming it's going to take too much time, and so finding those things that can get you organized faster, I think have been really cool.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's awesome, and I'm glad you said that about the spreadsheets, because it doesn't matter what you do. Yeah, that's awesome, and I'm glad you said that about the spreadsheets, because it doesn't matter what you do. It's that you do it.

Speaker 3:

Absolutely. Yeah, you can definitely. I love you know. There's certain things that I do even you know with my goals and stuff. I write them down in pen and paper and I feel like sometimes getting certain things out of your head and really writing them down can help you reach a lot more success.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, awesome, okay. Well, to wrap up, what is your number one tip on changing the way we think about money?

Speaker 3:

Yeah. So I would say, if you want to change the way you think about money, I think sometimes it might involve doing a little bit of questioning your current beliefs. So, and I will say not to, if you go, if you go to my website, you know I do have some resources and some journal prompts there, and then in the book there's one at the end of every chapter. We're really because some of these things that we've heard throughout our whole lifetimes can feel so true, they can feel like facts, but a lot of times they're they're not, they're just thoughts that have been repeated over and over again. And so I feel like doing a little bit of work on those thoughts, those things that you know you've maybe never questioned, and then thinking about them in different ways or asking yourself different questions that maybe you've never asked yourself.

Speaker 3:

Like what would you do if you had a million dollars and you couldn't donate it away? Like what, how would you actually? You know all of these things that you could kind of do to just change the way you think about money and maybe broaden it a bit, Because we are all pretty programmed in our thinking and a lot of times the programming isn't exactly helpful. So I would say, yeah, questioning some of those beliefs about money, asking yourself different questions, Maybe, even if no one has to see your answers, it can be completely personal, you don't have to share it with anybody. You could write down some of the craziest things and just getting you know, just kind of thinking about things a little bit differently, can help with that mental aspect of personal finance.

Speaker 2:

Awesome, awesome, well. So what is the name of your book? Where can people pick up a copy of your book?

Speaker 3:

Yeah, so my book is called demystifying money, so it was my podcast, and so if you head over to misty lynchcom you can find the link to the book on Amazon or catch up with old episodes of the podcast. Really love talking about this, this stuff kind of the podcast. I really love talking about this stuff kind of, you know, breaking down some of the fears, the shame, some of the you know, some of the blocks that we've put up in place, that really only exist in our own head, and trying to find ways to help more people be successful and define what that actually looks like for them instead of what it's supposed to be.

Speaker 2:

That's awesome and for everybody watching and listening. As always, there will be links to Misty's book podcast and website in the show notes, so you can be sure to pick up a copy of her book, listen to the podcast and check out her website. So, misty, thanks for joining us today on the Get Ready Money podcast.

Speaker 3:

Thank you for having me.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and thank you everyone, as always, for tuning in to this episode of the Get Ready Money podcast. If you learned something today to change the way you think about money, please be sure to subscribe and to tell a friend. Until next time, let's change the way we think about money.

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Tony Steuer

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