Breaking Money Silence Featuring Kathleen Kingsbury

On this episode of The Get Ready Money Podcast, I spoke with Kathleen Kingsbury, author, podcaster and founder of KBK Wealth Connection about changing the way we think about money and Breaking Money Silence.

In this episode we discussed:

• It’s okay to talk about the emotions of money. 
• Advisors should be genuinely curious about your clients. 
• Curiosity helps you gain a mutual understanding . 
• How to unleash your true value: be resilient and learn.
• People need to dare to break their money silence by having recurring money conversations.
• People want an advisor who knows who they are as a person.

Connect with Kathleen Kingsbury:

Website: kbkwealthconnection.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kathleenburnskingsbury/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/breakingmoneysilence.com

Books:

• Breaking Money Silence: How to Shatter Money Taboos, Talk More Openly about Finances and Live a Richer Life (Amazon)  
• Creating Wealth From The Inside Out Workbook (Amazon) 
• How to Give Financial Advice to Couples: Essential Skills for Balancing High-Net-Worth Clients' Needs (Amazon)
• How to Give Financial Advice to Women: Attracting and Retaining High-Net Worth Female Clients (Amazon)
• Weight Wisdom: Affirmations to Free You from Food and Body Concerns - co-author: Mary Ellen Williams (Amazon)

Podcast:

• Unleash Your True Value, A Breaking Money Silence Podcast (here)

Resources mentioned:

Women Money Power: The Rise and Fall of Economic Equality by Josie Cox (Amazon)

Bio: 

Kathleen Burns Kingsbury isn’t your average money mindset coach; she’s a pioneering force in the realm of women and money, setting her apart from conventional counterparts. With over 18 years of specialized experience, she’s dedicated herself to empowering women across finance, business, and entrepreneurship. As a mentor to female entrepreneurs, Kathleen offers invaluable guidance, drawing from her extensive background in wealth psychology and client communication. Her expertise extends to working with financial advisors, helping them navigate the complexities of wealth management while fostering stronger client relationships.

Recognized by The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and others, Kathleen is the author of several books on wealth psychology and financial communication. The second edition of Breaking Money Silence®: How to Shatter Money Taboos, Talk More Openly about Finances, and Live a Richer Life, will be published 1/14/2025.

And she’s not all business—when she’s not trailblazing the field of women and wealth, she’s conquering ski slopes and exploring the great outdoors in Vermont, living life to the fullest.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to Get Ready Money Podcast
• 1:26 Kathleen's Origin Story
• 4:52 Why We Don't Talk About Money
• 8:22 Building Financial Confidence
• 12:02 The Power of Curiosity in Money Conversations
• 19:11 Unleashing Your True Value
• 24:34 Get Ready Questions and Practical Advice
• 32:33 Understanding Your Money Personality

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:04

Are you looking to get ready, be prepared and transform your financial future? Then you've come to the right place. This is the Get Ready Money Podcast with Tony Stewart, where Tony has insightful conversations with financial experts who are changing the way we think about money. Catch up on the latest financial trends and hear practical advice from Tony and his expert guests so you can build healthy habits that work, Be empowered with tips for implementing small changes that can have a big impact on your financial future. So sit back and get ready to hear from today's guest.

Speaker 2: 0:49

Welcome to the Get Ready Money podcast changing the way we think about money. I'm pleased to be joined today by Kathleen Kingsbury. Kathleen is an author, podcaster and founder of KBK Wealth Connection. In this episode, we'll be discussing Kathleen's insights on how we change the way we think about money and breaking money silence. Kathleen, welcome to the Get Ready Money podcast. Thanks for joining us today.

Speaker 3: 1:12

Thank you. I'm excited to be here, Tony, and to break money silence with you.

Speaker 2: 1:16

Yeah, this is awesome. Thanks for joining us. So you know to get started. You know, tell us a little bit about yourself. What is your origin story?

Speaker 3: 1:23

get started tell us a little bit about yourself. What is your origin story? Well, my origin story as it relates to kind of the work that I do. I think, if I look back, even when I was a little girl like five, six or seven, I would get in trouble for speaking up. I always like to talk about things that I wasn't supposed to talk about so taboo topics. And there is one story that I think really sums up kind of why I do what I do now.

Speaker 3: 1:50

And so I was seven, it was Easter Sunday and we for some reason were out to dinner as opposed to having it home. And I remember sitting there and I was so excited to be in my Easter dress and I was chatting up a storm and finally the waiter looked at me and he had learned my name and he said, kathy, take a lunch break. And the whole table erupted laughing my mom and my dad, and I remember at seven feeling kind of confused like I don't understand what's so funny. I'm just excited to be here at Easter brunch. But that story has been told over and over again in my family, and so the essence was I always had a lot to say.

Speaker 3: 2:31

I often would talk when I wasn't supposed to. So the taboo topics and while my parents laughed about it and my sister, the message was you know, you probably should be a little bit quieter. So I think they were well-intended. But basically what that led to is a lifetime of me figuring out different ways to use my voice and to speak up, and so I and my parents laugh at this now.

Speaker 3: 2:55

But it's kind of funny that then I became a professional paid speaker and an author of several books. I was like you can't tell me to take a lunch break. I think the other things that are kind of important to know is I'm a military brat. We moved around a lot. I think there's a real upside to that in terms of being able to speak to people you've never met before, learning to be flexible, and I'm somebody that really believes in women's empowerment and making sure that women are able to take care of themselves and that includes men as well. So those are kind of the things that make up my origin story and why I'm so passionate about breaking money silence.

Speaker 2: 3:34

Well, that's cool and I think so many people feel that way and I know from some of my other women guests is that they've said the same thing, especially about feeling free to speak up and feeling like it's not okay. I mean, do you think that's even more predominant for women?

Speaker 3: 3:50

I definitely think it's a message that women in my generation so I'm a very old Gen Xer, as old as you can be before being a boomer and very much the message was you know that it was okay to be smart, it was okay even to know a little bit about money, but it really was better if you were a little quieter and you didn't take up too much space and I think that was you know society, the culture I grew up in. I think that's shifting and changing a bit. But I do find that talking about money can be hard, no matter how you identify by your gender. But I certainly do think it is at times more complicated for people like myself who are women that are in business, that have something to say and aren't very quiet about it.

Speaker 2: 4:42

Yeah, I have heard that and you know there's been a lot written and talked about that, you know. Is that part of what inspired you to write your book? Breaking Money Silenced?

Speaker 3: 4:53

You know, breaking Money Silenced was a book that found me. This is a second edition that's being published, so the first edition was in 2017. And when I decided to write the book, it really was after a long time thinking about that. Advisors so I do a lot of speaking in the financial advisor space Advisors really want to talk to their clients about money and passing down wealth, and I felt like the people that I was working with when I coach, or even my girlfriends and friends, felt like advisors didn't do that and there felt like there was a gap. And so when I originally wrote Breaking Money Silence, it really was about how you fill the gap between advisors wanting to talk to their clients about money and clients not knowing how to do that or even know if advisors are willing to do that.

Speaker 3: 5:47

And when I say it wrote itself, it was New Year's Eve. I sat down at the table. I had been thinking there was another book in me, but I sat down at the table and I wrote out the table of contents and it stayed exactly the same, which is unusual. And so it really was about wanting to talk about why. It was an issue like why it's so uncomfortable to talk about it and then, more importantly, the majority of the book is about so what do you do about it? Like, how do you start to have these conversations with your maybe it's your romantic partner or your aging parent, or, if you have kids, your kids. So that's kind of where that originally came from wanting to fill that gap and wanting to give people a roadmap.

Speaker 2: 6:30

Yeah, well, you know, let's go down that road a little bit and explore it. So what do you think is one of the big reasons why people don't have these conversations? Because you know, like you mentioned, I've been in the financial service world for a few years. We're the same vintage. I've been in the financial service world for a few years we're the same vintage, I think and it's no secret that advisors do want to have these conversations. But for 30, 35 years I've heard the same thing as you. It's like how do we do it? Why is that going on?

Speaker 3: 7:01

Well, I think that the money talk taboo in our society has been around for a long time. I see it shifting a little bit. But you think about it. For centuries we have been told it's rude or it's unnecessary, or you just don't talk about money, whether that's outside the family, whether that's with your kids. I think when it comes to financial advisors, they were often taught the technical aspects, not necessarily the human side of finance. So while they want to do it, they're not sure how to do it, and so I think that taboo has just been passed down for generations upon generations and it doesn't serve us.

Speaker 3: 7:39

I mean, it ultimately makes it harder for couples to get along when it comes to resolving financial conflicts. It's more difficult for people to negotiate their salaries. Families of wealth or even families of regular means are not successfully passing down their wealth to the next generation, so it no longer serves a purpose, yet we still really struggle with it. So I think the last component is it's emotional, like it's not about the dollars and cents. I think it's what those dollars and cents means whether you feel financially literate enough to engage in a financial conversation, and so there's just a lot of mixed emotions, and part of that, I think, is because we haven't talked about money. So my hope is we can break that cycle in families and in the industry. And yeah, there's going to be feelings about it. But if you have a sense of how to go about doing it and you've been raised to engage in these conversations, I don't think they'll be so awkward. So I think it's a combination of factors, but I think emotions is a big piece of the puzzle.

Speaker 2: 8:47

Yeah, I'm with you 100% and you know that's what I talk to a lot of my guests about is usually the theme. But one of the things you brought up and I think this is really important is that feeling of comfort and the ability is like, especially with women. As you look at the statistics, 80 to 90% of widows will leave their current financial planner. You know only 30% of CFPs are women. Is you know, how do people start to feel comfortable having the money conversation when they haven't felt that and I think a lot of it comes down to confidence as well when they haven't had that confidence to feel comfortable?

Speaker 3: 9:25

Yeah, I think one of the things that people need to realize is to not beat themselves up that they're not good at it or they haven't done it, or maybe they do do it, but there's certain pockets where it feels uncomfortable. That's often like salary negotiation or death and dying. Those are difficult conversations. I think the way to start is to look at your money history, to start to understand you know who taught me about talking about money, who taught me about finance, what messages were sent whether they were healthy or unhealthy messages and start to really understand what's called your money talk mindset, so how you think and feel about engaging in these conversations. Once you do that, I think then you're in a better position to reach out to somebody a safe person, hopefully to pick to begin with to maybe have a 10 or 15 minute conversation and instead of it being about money or technical stuff, it can be simply hey, you know, I realized when I was, you know, growing up, we didn't talk about money in our family.

Speaker 3: 10:31

I'm wondering how was money talked about or not talked about in your family? So it's kind of what's the word? It's like stepping back, it's one layer removed. So it's not about your personal finances, it's not about how smart you are. It's really like so hey, do you talk about money, why or why not? And maybe we can do this more often. That, I think, is a great way to start because it's less threatening. It's helping you understand your relationship with money and just having a conversation about how society or how we were raised around financial conversations.

Speaker 2: 11:09

Well, I think it's powerful because, you know, something you said earlier really resonated with me. You know, when you think about the typical advisor meeting, you know they walk. Well, I don't know if they walk in with piles of papers anymore, they really don't but you know they have the financial plan, they have all the returns on all the investments. Is, you know, how do they start to shift their mindset from not being so focused, I guess, on the product, I guess I would say the nuts and bolts, to look at the bigger picture, because I think that's what happens sometimes is they find comfort in the tools rather than looking at the process.

Speaker 3: 11:49

Well, I think you're right, Tony. I also believe that there's a shift in our industry that's happening and that people are talking more about money stories, more about money mindsets, family history around money, and so I do feel like especially the younger advisors are building in that behavioral finance piece. But anybody can do it, and the first thing you need to realize is that it makes good business sense, because if you look at what typically a woman would want or next generation would want, they want an advisor that knows who they are as people, not just their assets or not just about their investments. So it's a way to have that human connection and it could be as simple as during the discovery process, saying you know, I'm wondering who influenced you the most when it comes to how you think and feel about money? Or what did your mom teach you about money versus your dad? What are the areas where you're most comfortable engaging in financial conversations and what are the other areas? Or give them a checklist.

Speaker 3: 12:56

It doesn't have to be a deep dive. It can be at a high level, letting your client or your prospect know that it's okay to talk about the emotions around money, the family history around money, and that in addition to the technical because I'm not saying technical stuff isn't important that gives you a more holistic view of your client and actually if you are able to understand them as people and then advise them around what they need to do in terms of financial plan, investments, whatever, it might be that they're actually more likely to follow your recommendations if you're able to frame it in a way that really speaks to who they are as a person. So again, it makes good sense for the advisor. It also is what a lot of clients want these days. So it's giving them what they want and in some ways being more competitive than another advisor who isn't and is kind of stuck in the more transactional or old school model.

Speaker 2: 13:59

Yeah, well, and I think back. I started off a few years ago as a life insurance agent. I think back, you know, I started off, you know, a few years ago as a life insurance agent, but the top producers were the ones who were able to form those relationships that you know. The last thing you actually talked about was about the numbers is. You talked about the concept, you talked about what the client was trying to achieve, and I think that you know that that just wasn't the mainstream, that that was thought of something like well, those are only things certain advisors can do, and you have to be extremely gifted. And you know, I'm seeing the same thing. Or the younger advisors are saying no, wait a minute, you can just build this into your practice. All you have to do is talk to people like they're people, and it's bad and it does you know it requires a little bit of training.

Speaker 3: 14:48

So that, and it does you know it requires a little bit of training. And if you look at like, if you're a CFP, a certified financial planner, that now is part of the qualifications, that they've added client psychology into what they need to be tested on. So, and there's more and more training, there's more and more tools. I mean, the book has a section in it that is specifically for advisors, at the end of each chapter in order to apply these concepts to their practice. So I feel as if, yes, top producers have always had great people skills.

Speaker 3: 15:20

This is about being curious about your clients and really getting to know them, in addition to getting to know their assets and all the other financial data that you need to know, and it's a big job. It's not easy and that's why you know I don't expect someone to do kind of a really big assessment like I do when I'm coaching someone, because that's my purpose is to coach them around their relationship with money. However, you can build in some tools or some tips, or just a question or two in each meeting and then you're addressing that piece as well, and that's what I recommend people start doing and emphasize is to be genuinely curious about your clients.

Speaker 2: 16:14

It's not something that you fake. You want to have clients that you're curious about and that you ask some questions, that you're authentic and you care about their answers. It becomes pretty clear to clients very quickly if you're just following a list of questions because you think that's what the clients want to be asked is you know, then you have to ask that follow-up question. If they tell you something about, let's say, their daughter going to college, you know you can't just move on to your next question. You have to drill deep and you know. So I love that you're saying that, because I think that is. I think curiosity is such a great way to engage with your clients and let them tell you what they want to tell you, instead of just trying to sell them what you want to sell them.

Speaker 3: 16:57

Well, and there's a whole chapter in the book I believe it's chapter four it's called curiosity killed the cat but save the conversation. And so it's all about the role of curiosity and whether you are an advisor or whether you're a husband or wife or a daughter or a girlfriend, if you're having a money conversation and you can bring a healthy dose of curiosity, what it does is, first of all, it aids in the connection. But second of all, the purpose of a productive money conversation isn't to win, it isn't to make your point, it's to really gain some mutual understanding, and curiosity helps you do that. I also like curiosity, especially when working with couples, because you know, if you've been together a long time like my husband and I have been married 27 years and so you just start to assume what the other person's going to say, and so that gets couples into trouble. So if you bring a healthy dose of curiosity to your financial couple, your conversations, even if you've been with your partner a long time, it helps you not get defensive, it helps you stay open.

Speaker 3: 18:05

You don't have to do it perfectly. That was ironic, right. You don't have to do it purpose sorry, perfectly. That was ironic, right. You don't have to do it perfectly, um, but it may even just be reminding yourself before a conversation. I need to be curious, um, and I agree it does have to be authentic, um, because the salesy fake it till you make it, you know. It just doesn't fly for most of the consumers or prospects out there for advisors. We can see it a mile away. It's not like in the 1950s where I think you could get away with that. Nowadays you really can't. It's a pretty big turnoff.

Speaker 2: 18:43

Sorry, the old thing is in the 1950s. It might have been those three martini lunches that didn't hurt either.

Speaker 3: 18:48

Yeah, that they didn't really care. I don't know. That's true, that's changed as well, I hope.

Speaker 2: 18:53

Oh, yeah, I think it has. So, before we get into the get ready questions here, I want to talk about one other thing, because I know this is something you're passionate about and it's unleashing our true value is, how do we unleash our true value of who we are?

Speaker 3: 19:08

Well, what's interesting? Let me just give a little context. So Unleash your True Value is a bonus chapter which is in the second edition that was added, and the reason I added this particular chapter was that I really wanted to move the conversation, or move it forward from just talking about our loved ones to actually talking about money silence at work, and the place that I have experienced it as a woman and as an entrepreneur is certainly in the workplace. And so how to unleash your true value is really specifically geared for women, although the tactics can apply to anyone, and it's the beginning of the work that I'm doing around breaking money silence in the workplace. And so to unleash your true value, it takes a while, it takes some practice, but in the chapter there are three different steps that you can take.

Speaker 3: 20:02

The first is you have to identify kind of what your value is in the marketplace, whether you're you know negotiating a salary, whether you're you know negotiating a salary, whether you're you know advocating for a fee that you want to charge a client. But so you first you need to know kind of what's out there and what's your competition. But more importantly, you need to understand your internal value, like the essence of who you are as a person is valuable, and I find in a lot of instances that's the piece that makes the difference in terms of being able to be successful and getting paid what you're worth. It also tends to be a place where research shows a lot of women and, I think, men I just think they haven't done the research on men struggle, and so that's the first step. The second thing is you have to kind of shift your mindset from being really focused on what's not working out in a negotiation or communicating your value to learning from each and every experience. So I call that adopt a success mindset. You really need to be resilient. You need to learn even from your mistakes, because we don't do it perfectly.

Speaker 3: 21:09

And the last step is to figure out how you can clearly and confidently communicate that value in whatever context you're communicating it, and so when you buy the book and you look at that chapter, I actually walk you through those three steps, and what I have found because I do that for my coaching clients is what I have found is when people are able to walk through those steps and then role play their communication, great things happen. I've coached women who have doubled their salaries. I've coached women who have raised their fees and thought everybody's going to leave them and lo and behold, they did not. And the part that I like the best, it's not just that people are earning more, although I think that's certainly beneficial. The part I love is watching people just start to glow with confidence and feel really good about standing in their value. I think that's the part that really turns me on. And then the bonus is okay they're going to make more money so they can do more good things in the world.

Speaker 2: 22:12

That's awesome and I think that's important. And one of the things you said there is the confidence is a big part of it, and I know that for me, when I raised my hourly rates as a consultant, it was the same thing it's like is anybody going to pay it? Are they going to that? It's hard for anybody. I think you know, especially as a solopreneur, to do that, because you don't want to rock the boat with your clients and everybody else raises their rates.

Speaker 3: 22:41

Right. We have all sorts of thoughts, and I've been there too. I mean, part of the reason this chapter is in the book is we teach what we need to know. When I started as a paid professional speaker, I was woefully undercharging and it wasn't till I realized whoa, I have to work on my relationship with money and I have to figure out what value I provide and how is that different from the other speakers that I had to go through that process, and so my hope is, with my coaching and with this particular chapter in the book, is that I'm saving people some time and again. You're right, tony, it can apply to any gender, and I think that part of the work is really looking at. I think there's pockets of places where men struggle just as much as women, but unfortunately it hasn't gotten the attention Again. In the financial services industry there's kind of this myth that advisors have it all together and can just really handle it, when in fact they're just people too and struggle with mindset stuff as well.

Speaker 2: 23:42

Definitely, and you know. But, as you say, it does impact women more, and I think we just want to emphasize, too, the gender pay gap for people out there and that women are underpaid. Study after study shows that. So this is an especially an important topic for the women who are listening. But if you have a woman in your life who might benefit from this book, this would be a great book to pick up and to help her unleash her true values. Yeah, absolutely yeah. So, and we'll, at the end we'll get around to where people can pick up a copy of Breaking Money Silence and, of course, there'll be links to it in the show notes. But let's jump into the get ready questions real quick. These are more rapid fire questions. What is one simple thing people can do each year to set themselves up for financial success?

Speaker 3: 24:34

I think each year they can have. They can set up financial meetings they don't have to be long 15, 20 minutes with someone else. And let me explain the someone else. The someone else could be your financial advisor, it could be your partner, it could be if you're single, it could be a close friend. But I think we need to periodically check in with somebody else, not to find out if we're wrong or we're spending too much or saving not enough, but really to engage in conversations and think about how can we be mindful about our finances and what are our goals and making sure that we have some accountability.

Speaker 2: 25:15

That's awesome. Yeah, I fully subscribe to that and I recommend that to people as part of my annual financial calendar. For people, it's one of the weekly tasks. What is one simple habit that people can change when it comes to their money what I'm going to say.

Speaker 3: 25:36

I really think people need to dare to break their money silence, and it could be as simple as committing each quarter to have one conversation around money that you wouldn't normally have. So it could be that a five 10 minute conversation. It could be asking someone in your life to explain a financial concept or to tell them a little bit about their money history. I just think if we all took the responsibility of having one conversation every couple of months about money that we didn't used to have, that we would really bust through this money, talk taboo and change our society. So that would be the one small thing you can do that could have a big ripple effect.

Speaker 2: 26:22

Definitely, and that's easy to do. And I think something you pointed out there again is you know, if you don't understand something, you can ask about it and talk about it. Is you know, just pretending you know something is not a great strategy, especially when it comes to money.

Speaker 3: 26:39

Well, and what you'll find out when you let yourself be a little vulnerable is a lot of people don't know as much as they could about money, and so it's in some ways comforting to realize oh wait, I don't have it all together. You don't have it all together. We're in this together, so I think that's great advice.

Speaker 2: 26:59

Yeah, it makes me think, you know, being back in class and everybody thinks they should know something, so nobody wants to be like, okay, what's going on here? Awesome advice, so what money myth are you trying to break?

Speaker 3: 27:14

That financial advisors just need to focus on the technical aspects of money. Financial advisors just need to focus on the technical aspects of money. Does that make sense?

Speaker 2: 27:24

Yeah, Financial advisors need to go beyond the technical aspects and I completely agree with you because I mean, that's really a small part of the relationship, right, the technical aspects, because your clients, yeah, you know they care about the technical aspects, but what they really care about, am I going to be comfortable in retirement If something happens to me? Is my family going to be taken care of? Those are the questions that your clients have and I think so many people struggle, you know, and then they find comfort as an advisor, in the numbers and in the reports and in all the tools and services, because it's scary to have that conversation and to go deeper.

Speaker 3: 28:05

So I'm going to cheat and I'm going to add one more. So for women out there, I would say don't buy into the myth that women aren't good negotiators. It's actually not true and the current research is showing that women actually are negotiating say, their salary, more often than men and this is the younger generations with success. So I don't want that to be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Speaker 2: 28:32

That's awesome, that's great advice. So you know for the next one, let's get out the time machine for a minute. What advice would you give your younger self if you could go back in time, knowing what you know now about money?

Speaker 3: 28:46

I would tell her to worry less about money. My natural money personality is to be a saver, and as a kid and as an adult, especially through and I still love saving, love, saving money, love seeing that number grow. But there were times in my early 20s my husband would say in my 30s as well, but in my 20s where I felt like I should have taken more financial risk or enjoyed the fact that I had money more. And since doing work on my own relationship with money, you know I can do those things, but certainly when I was younger it would cause me a lot of anxiety and it just was wasted energy. And that's why I help people who have that anxiety around money change it, because life can be better when you understand that money ebbs and flows and it's absolutely okay to spend sometimes.

Speaker 2: 29:45

Yeah, now, and that's interesting. I mean we could have a whole conversation about that but they're finding that people really have a hard time switching, when they stop working, when they've reached financial independence, to becoming a spender right, and they'rever because you're conditioned for 40 years Save more, save, more, save as much as possible, and then all of a sudden, I can spend it. I don't know how to do that and I don't feel comfortable.

Speaker 3: 30:08

Right, and there's different money personalities, so I do this money assessment. There's eight different money personalities and so, depending on which one you have, I just happen to be the saver. Something tells me you might be too Tony, and a lot of financial advisors are, but it really is interesting and so insightful to understand your natural personality, and it's not that you need to change it, you just need to learn to work with it.

Speaker 2: 30:35

That's awesome. Yeah, Learn to work with that. I love that Be adaptable. So what is your go-to number one favorite money resource that you turn to, whether it's a podcast, book, newsletter app or website?

Speaker 3: 30:48

I'm going to be really transparent. This was harder than I thought it would be, and I think it's because I know of so many. So what I'm going to share is the book I'm currently reading that I'm crazy about. It's called Women. I was just making sure I got the title right Women, money and Power. It's by Josie Cox and it is. I just love it. And what it is is the history of how women have gained and lost, and I think it's going to be gained and lost, but gained and lost economic power. So for anybody who is a history buff and wants to know a little bit more about history around women, for anybody who wants to know more about the gender wage gap and how things have shifted economically, I think it's good. And even though I'm not a big like history kind of reader, it's told in such an accessible way that I get all excited when I have some time to read a chapter. So I would definitely check out Women, money and Power by Josie Cox guys can check it out, everybody that's watching or listening.

Speaker 2: 32:01

And I think, with some of these things you bring about and we've touched about this for women, but you have to remember that a lot of these things for women are fairly recent. What was it in the 70s? Women could start getting their own credit card and their own work.

Speaker 3: 32:15

Yeah, it was mid-70s. Women could get their own credit card. It's really interesting to go back and read the history around the time of, like Rosie the Riveters in World War One, world War Two, that you know people, women weren't allowed to work. They actually, the minute they got pregnant, got fired and that was legal. They got married. You know they'd be displaced by a mail worker and when you think about it, depending on kind of what, you're, the age of the listener right now, that wasn't that long ago. I mean, that's under 75, 100 years. That's crazy, crazy. So I think we've come a long way. We have a long way to go, but I think understanding our history is important and I think we understand a lot about the history around men and the economy and their economics, but we really need to spend some time balancing them out. And that's a book recommendation for everybody who's listening. It's not. I don't think it's gender specific, even though the word women is in the title.

Speaker 2: 33:19

Yeah, no, no, that's awesome and these things are real. And you know that's why I keep coming back to like the gender pay gap. You know it's it's slowly closing, but it's definitely still.

Speaker 3: 33:31

Well, I think the thing to keep in mind, tony, for people to keep in mind, is so Unleash your True Value is really about the individual advocacy you can do. When you're educating yourself about the history of women, that's something else you can do. There's also systematic changes that need to happen, and so that's where leaders come in and a lot of the male allies who just happen to be in the C-suite because our numbers are skewed. So it's a complicated problem, but I feel like each and every one of us can take some individual action to change it.

Speaker 2: 34:04

Yeah, a hundred percent, and just understanding that it's an issue and talking about it with other people is a huge way that you can start to play a part. So, kathleen, to wrap up, what is your number one tip on changing the way we think about money?

Speaker 3: 34:21

My number one tip on changing the way we think about money. My number one tip on changing the way we think about money. I'm going to go back to understanding your money personality. I think it's really important for you to, instead of say I'm not good with money or I shouldn't do that with money, to really start to identify what is your money personality, what are the strengths of that personality, and then how do you make sure you're working towards those strengths? Now, there's different assessments out there. I happen to offer one as well where you can get an assessment and you can start to understand that relationship with money. Get an assessment and you can start to understand that relationship with money. I just think, when we have that insight, that then we're able to not beat ourselves up for who we are, we're able to be more open to learn about money, because we need to know financial basics as adults, and I just think that that piece of the puzzle has been missing from financial literacy for a long time.

Speaker 2: 35:24

So that's the place I'd like to have people focus, definitely, definitely, and that's the whole purpose of this show is that I want to add that dimension to the financial literacy conversation, because I think that is what's missing is nobody really. I mean, people want to know what a 401k is, but nobody really wants to watch a video on 401ks. So, as I mentioned, they want to watch a video on how they can be comfortable in retirement and retire sooner.

Speaker 2: 35:48

That's everybody's goal. So where can people learn more about you? Where can they pick up a copy of Breaking Money Silence?

Speaker 3: 35:57

So Breaking Money Silence is available on all the regular bookstores, so your Amazon, your Barnes and Nobles, your local bookstore, if you request it. You can also go to my website at kbkwealthconnectioncom and you can look at that book as well as other books that I've written. And if you are a LinkedIn person, I spend my social media time on LinkedIn so we can connect there as well. And that is under my full name, kathleen Burns Kingsbury, which I know is long. That's why most people call me KBK.

Speaker 2: 36:34

Awesome and for everybody watching and listening. As always, there will be links for Kathleen's books, for her podcast which we didn't even get a chance to talk about and to her website. So, kathleen, thanks again for joining us today on the Get Ready Money podcast.

Speaker 3: 36:51

This has been a great conversation and I've loved breaking money silence with you, tony, so thank you.

Speaker 2: 36:56

Yeah, we appreciate your time and, as always, thank you everyone for tuning in to this episode of the Get Ready Money podcast. If you learned something today to change the way you think about money, please be sure to subscribe and to tell a friend. Until next time let's change the way we think about money. Thank you.