What It Really Takes to Settle an Estate

Being named executor is more than a title. It’s a responsibility most people are not prepared for.

Julie Rains, author and storyteller joined me on this episode of Get Ready Before Life Happens, to talk about the realities of settling a parent’s estate and what it truly means to serve as an executor.

Drawing from her personal journey, Julie shares practical lessons around cash flow, access to accounts, beneficiary designations, financial institutions, and why family conversations before a loss are one of the greatest gifts we can give.

Key Takeaways

🔹 Executors often need access to cash before estate assets are released.

🔹 Court appointment and estate rules can vary significantly by state.

🔹 Beneficiaries and heirs are not the same under the law.

🔹 Financial institutions may freeze accounts or provide incomplete information.

🔹 Wills, trusts, and beneficiary designations can produce very different outcomes.

🔹 Clear family conversations about wishes, access, and responsibilities reduce stress later.

🔹 Preparing before death is one of the most meaningful gifts to loved ones.

🧠 Tony’s Take

This conversation is a reminder that estate planning is not just about documents. It is about making sure the right people have the information, access, and support they need when life changes. Financial readiness includes preparing others to step in with clarity and confidence.

Connect with Julie Rains:

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/julierains/
• Website: www.julierains.com
• Investing to Thrive website: https://investingtothrive.com
• Save.Invest.Protect.Preserve Newsletter (Substack): https://julierains.substack.com

Books:

• Growing Wealth: Essential Money Lessons From My Garden to Yours (Amazon)

Bio: 

Julie Rains is a writer and finance professional with a Bachelor of Science in Business Administration and a concentration in Finance from The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. When she became executor of her father's estate — right in the middle of finishing her first book, Growing Wealth: Essential Money Lessons from My Garden to Yours — she found herself navigating a strange new world. Despite her background and her dad's relatively simple estate, she was astonished at the complexity involved in making straightforward claims.

What began as a desire to change systems evolved into something more tangible: helping people stay sane through one of life's most overwhelming responsibilities. Julie writes about estate work and legacy at her Substack, Save. Invest, Protect. Preserve. and is working on a novel that draws on her experiences. Whether you're settling an estate or planning, Julie’s mission is to illuminate what's really going on — so you can make informed decisions, choose the right professionals, and strengthen the relationships that matter most.

☕ Support the Get Ready Movement.

If these conversations help you think differently about money or prepare for life’s what-ifs, your support helps expand financial readiness education and keep this work accessible.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:04

Get ready before life happens.

SPEAKER_00 0:07

The podcast helping you navigate life's what it being named an executor is often seen as an honor until you discover how complicated, emotional it can be. Today we unpack what it really takes to settle in a state with confidence and clarity. Welcome to Get Ready Before Life Happens. I'm pleased to be joined today by Julie Rains. Julie, welcome to the podcast. Thank you. I appreciate that. Yeah, so you know Yeah, it's great to have you back. And um, you know, so tell us a little bit about your origin story and how did it lead you to focusing on this conversation about being an executor.

SPEAKER_02 0:55

So, well, my background is in finance. I know that's kind of how we met through the financial um media world. Um, and then a couple of years ago, well, a few years ago, my dad named me as executor for his estate, and then he died. He was in his, he was almost 96 when he died. Um, and so I felt like I had a pretty, pretty good handle on what needed to be done. He just had a few accounts, he had a house that was his biggest asset. Um, I'm very detail oriented, I redefined friendly insurance policies, I'm that kind of person, so I thought this wouldn't be that big of a deal. Um and even when I was getting just getting started, um, you know, worked with the hospital, you know, after when he died, I was there when he died, and then worked with a funeral home and planning a service and um got the death certificate, started the process of getting his life insurance and then his IRAs, and everything seemed to be pretty steady. I had access to his, he had a computer and he had access to his um bank accounts just took to view those things. Um, and one thing that he's he was older, he was very mentally sharp, um, but older and became frail and before he died. And he, but he always told us about you know the house. He told me about everything about the house. And one thing he emphasized, you know, he was gonna pay the property taxes. So every time every year he would pay the property taxes, we would make sure you know we didn't have that burden um for that. And one of the other big things he talked about was the insurance and the house insurance. He said it was on auto pay. And so we want to make sure, because he was very important. I thought you might appreciate this, that he wanted to make sure insurance was kept in place and ready to go. So it's like, okay, good. So I was doing, you know, getting things ready, feel like I had things under control, and I went to check his bank account just to to because I needed that information for the to apply for a probate. Um, and I noticed his account was zero. And so I thought, well, what happened here? And so I called the bank and they said, well, we froze the account. And I'm like, what, you know, and I hadn't, you know, in hindsight, I probably have learned a lot of things. I didn't know that they would freeze the account. And I wasn't going to spend money out of the account, but I was counting on that insurance being paid as he had promised. Um, so and that and the house exit is the biggest, the the biggest asset, so the biggest risk there. So uh that turns out, and you might know this having worked in an estate, that when the death certificate was filed with with the court, the court notified it, my understanding is the court notified social security, and the social security notified the bank or called back the his that direct deposit from the the bank. So the bank immediately froze it down. So it's like, okay, so now I'm like, okay, this is the biggest asset, and I'm into risk management at least as much as I knew how to manage. Um, I thought I need to make sure I keep this insurance in place. There was a reason he told me about that. So um, but then I was like, well, what are my rights as an executor? Do I don't necessarily own the property yet, or do I? Um so I the attorney that prepared the will was a family member, and he I asked some questions of that, but he wasn't able to answer some of that. He was doesn't really practice that law. And that's not necessarily an attorney question, but so I thought about it, I thought, well, let me call the state insurance commissioner's office. They can tell me what my rights are. So I called them and they told me that I could call and that I could keep the insurance in place, that as long as I knew um, paid the bill, paid the premium, and then paid the um doing the renewal, you know, in the up to the time that it was renewed. So so I so I've searched through his um office and found his, you know, his statements. So I knew when the bill was due and I knew when the police was renewed, and I was good, felt like I was good, called the company. And then at this point, I also don't have any estate funds, you know, because this is at the very beginning. So there's no money to pay. I mean, I had money myself, so I um went ahead and put that on my credit card. So now I'm paying money for the for the um for the estate or for the house um already like just a few days in. So this was like this kind of it was just a surprise. I didn't know to expect that. I didn't also know, didn't quite realize, and this is maybe more obvious to a lot of people once you've done one. I didn't realize there's a waiting period between when like you're named in as in the will as executor, but I didn't know that the court had to appoint you to that role. So you're this kind of called, so there's a time frame there that you don't have access to money anyway. So all this was a surprise to me. And it wasn't the first surprise. And I just I wanted to that just really motivated me because I'm interested in finance and I'm interested in legacy and and know how much my dad, you know, were fairly close and wanted him to pass in his legacy. So I wanted to honor his legacy. And I just that experience and that surprises, even as prepared as he was and as I was, um, a simple surprise just a few days in. I just wanted to help other people not have those surprises, or if they do have the surprises, to know how to think how to deal with it. So that's kind of that's a long, long brought-out story there.

SPEAKER_00 6:08

But um well, I've really been enjoying you covering it in your Substack. And for people watching and listening, there'll be a link in the show notes to Julie's Substack, and we'll give you a chance to shout it out later on in the show. But you've really done a great job of sharing your journey and your insights. Uh, you know, I just want to emphasize a couple of things you mentioned is having cash to settle on the state is you also have to be careful with the bank account. I think as you've shared in your newsletter, is that bank accounts, and I I think you alluded to it in uh your answer there is that bank accounts can get frozen. So you don't necessarily have access to that cash. So that's something to think about when you're planning your estate, is making sure your executor is going to have access to some cash to settle the estate. And sometimes an estate can be very expensive to settle. Um, I think the other thing you point out is that the court has to appoint you as an executor. Um, do you know if that's true in every state?

SPEAKER_02 7:17

I'm assuming that every state is different. Um and I'm assuming that that you do have to be appointed. That's a good question. Um and I and I'm not quite as familiar with trust, but trust, you know, there's not so much that financial no man's land. But as far as an executor, which was uh go was applies to a will, um, I'm thinking they typically do have to be, there's typically a waiting period. But it could, it could differ. Mine was ended up, and you probably asked me more about this, but um when I went to make the application, I I handed it in and I thought the deputy clerk said it'd be it'd be processed with four to six days. And then I taught the first attorney that I talked to that to interview them, they were like, no, it's four to six weeks. Um and mine was processed, ended up being processed fairly quickly. So I always I had my letters within a few weeks, but um, that is a huge gap there. And and there's different ways to fill the gap. And one of those is my dad had life insurance and they processed that fairly quickly. And I had also just because of all the market up and downs, just in the past my lifetime, I made sure I had cash just available. So I was fortunate that I had cash um on my own to spend, but it is important, yeah, because that's one thing you want to protect the estate.

SPEAKER_00 8:34

Yeah, and that's something um because you and I met is, you know, uh I'm a life insurance subject matter expert. We we write about that. And it's something because that's actually something people who've been following me for a while, know that I'm really not a permanent life insurance person. But that's a compelling argument to keep a small permanent life insurance policy in force. So you do have that liquidity because as soon as you get that death certificate, you can file it. And generally, life insurance companies, unless there's something you know unusual about a death, they pay that claim fairly quickly. So that is ready cash that you can use to sell your state. Right, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:20

And I always wondered why it kept that. And then I thought about it real quickly.

SPEAKER_00 9:26

And you're making me rethink advice I've been giving for decades about that, because that is something to consider, is that source of ready cash, you know, whether it's a fund that you put aside for your kids or something, but your kids have to be able to access it. So, you know, naming your executor. I think if if your executor is a co-account holder, do you know if they have access to it? Or does it get frozen sometimes?

SPEAKER_02 9:54

Yeah, so so one of the things I'll say is sometimes banks do things they're not, and I'm not, I'm I probably will bash some banks here, so forgive me ahead of time because there's some that do really well. But sometimes banks might freeze something where they should or shouldn't. You know, they they get they also pay by their own rules. That's kind of another aside. But to your point, sometimes what some people do is they have a joint account owner, um, and that person, you know, has that cash available. Um I had talking to someone I know that had that the the executor had the was a POA and then became the executor and they had a joint account, but apparently the type of joint account they had was something that was shut down after the death. So it depends on the type of joint account that you have. Um, and it's not necessarily that's also kind of a complicated way. It's an easy way to to to have money at to have money access, but it's not necessarily the proper planning way, in my understanding. Because then you've got, see, maybe you have one child that has the joint account and there's three children. Well, technically, that child owns that account after your death, and your intention may have been to give the money to all three children, for example. So that's kind of a little bit of a something that's expeditious, but it may not be the perfect planning tool, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 11:18

Do you have any recommendations on that planning tool?

SPEAKER_02 11:21

Oh, that's a good question. Um that is an excellent question, Tony. I don't know if I do consult your soil show your lawyer, but I think maybe to be aware of that's the issue. Um, and actually I had my husband's uh he's they have a similar issue, and the lawyer has suggested that they just put the account, you know, at some point down the road. Um, so but you've got to trust that person to middle split. Of course, if you're somebody's your POA and your executor, you should trust them. Um, but I think the life insurance is a great option. And some people, again, the the trust is an option because there's not that that financial no man's land that you're you're operating without cash.

SPEAKER_00 12:04

Yeah, and for everybody watching and listening, none of this is legal advice. This is just personal observations and experience. So uh, you know, definitely consult the laws in your own state, check with your attorney. Um be careful when you do online research on these areas to make sure that you're getting advice from somebody who's credible and qualified. There are a lot of attorneys who have blogs and podcasts and things like that. So, you know, I don't have any recommendations offhand. I'll try to get something in the show notes. Um, but there are a lot of estate planning attorneys who do talk about these things online. And so they're credible because this is what they do. So I'd recommend to people who aren't sure is to seek out those sources rather than just the first YouTube video that pops up uh that covers this.

SPEAKER_02 12:57

Yeah. And I'll say that just to add on to that is the situations are so different. In everybody's situation, the state laws are so different. Even if you have a really credible estate lawyer, you may think a situation applies to you and it may not. So, but the important thing I think is you need cash and you need to figure out how to get the cash.

SPEAKER_00 13:18

So I think that's a well, there is a mattress technique, is you know, you just keep cash under your mattress and then your kids can access that if something happens to them.

SPEAKER_02 13:29

Tony, thank you for saying that because I know somebody else that actually the person went out and got all our money in a bank account and put it and converted it to cash before she died, and it was there um available for the family. So, yeah, there's a lot of I'm not saying I recommend that, but that is that is something that has happened.

SPEAKER_00 13:46

Yeah, and you know, there are techniques where, you know, depending, you know, now an issue that comes up sometimes is parents aren't comfortable with how the kids may manage their money. But if you are comfortable with your kids managing money, is you can always gift, make a gift to them is another technique to get a little money out of your estate, as well as to have the kids have some money put aside. But that that gets into family dynamics and everything. So, you know, to get back to your journey, because I I think this is what's been so cool, is that it's your own personal journey. Is what made you decide to start writing about it and sharing about it? Because, you know, before this, you were really concentrating on the principles of your other book, save, invest, protect. And now you're talking about being an executor. I I mean it's awesome, but what what inspired you to make that change and go, hey, I want to share this?

SPEAKER_02 14:43

So I think the general answer, I was just fascinated by the subject. Um and when I started writing about it, I was actually still, I was in an online writing community. We were that was when I published my first book, that was where I developed that first book. And um, when my dad died, I was still in this community. And so that was what was happening in my life, and so I started documenting and writing about it. And then when things got a little bit crazy, it was like, oh, this might be interesting, this might be helpful. Um, I think one of my initial motivations was I thought that I could somehow, and I'm not giving this up necessarily, impact some sort of legislation. Um there's there's a lot of rules that the the executors have to follow, but there's not that many that protect the executors, in my humble opinion. For example, with the with the banks. Um so you know, when you I guess you do a stock trade, it should be settled, uh, or the rubbish firm, you had to be settled within a certain number of days. There's like, you know, a fair record, what's it fair credit recording act that you know, if you have a credit card, you know, they're not gonna um there's a fraudulent protections there, somebody you know used your credit card. So there's a lot of laws to protect consumers, but there seem to be none that would protect executors. Um, like if you filed a claim for an IRA, you know, you would think, well, they should have it finished within, you know, as long as they had you have all the information. Um they should tell you exactly what you should do, but they don't necessarily. Um, but if you do, you know, they should tell you what you should do and they should be able to process it within. I know it can't well, it doesn't matter to me whether it was be two weeks or a month or whatever, but there should be a time frame. And there's not really, as far as I know, there's not any sort of time frames there. So that was what I first was would have loved to have seen. Um and later, I think as I got into it, I realized that that might be kind of a uh a big project, um, a long one. I thought, well, the more that I can empower and educate executors on the process, that that would help, that would help solve some of these problems. And part of that is just choosing the right um the right brokerage firm of the Rack Bank. There's some that are that are easier to work with than others. So so the but that was really, and I just I just enjoy the work and I really got into um talking with people and thinking about inheritances and seeing family dynamics, as you mentioned, is seeing how you know an inheritance can be uh important in somebody's life and it could even be life-changing, but if you don't have that financial savvy going into it, or at least aware that you don't have financial savvy, you know, you're gonna blow your inheritance. Um, and that a better path would be more that legacy and not is legacy, is like the broader thing you want to pass along, and then money is a component of that. Um, and the more that you can teach your children, whoever you're gonna be passing along money to, the more you can teach them now today and to be financially responsible, the better. So I think I see that as a little bit more of a continuum. So it kind of bridges my other work and finance um to legacy work as well, to the executor work. So I hope that answers your question.

SPEAKER_00 17:56

Yeah, well, I I love that. And I think that brings up something that's super important is families need to have what I call a family transition meeting, for lack of a better word, where the you know, the aging parents need to talk to their adult kids, you know, at least generally. You know, they don't have to get into the specifics of accounts because I know a lot of people don't like talking about that. And that's okay. I don't know if you necessarily need to talk about account balances, but you can talk about the account types. I mean, is that something you're recommending to people is to start having family meetings to talk about these issues?

SPEAKER_02 18:36

I think it's important, yes, that they have some understanding of what's available and the types of accounts because they might not have access to what your account information is. Um and one thing I've been thinking about is a little bit I've it's nice if everybody would be in the same room. That everybody's telling is he is the same story, if that makes sense. Um, for example, my dad made sure when he wrote when he had the will, he um you know made sure he gave it to each of us so we all knew, you know, what he wanted and what and same thing with his power, but his healthcare power of attorney. What he we knew we were on the same page. So I think having those conversations, they may look different for each family. Um, I know somebody that she said her her dad had had remarried and um had been generous with the family when they, you know, throughout his lifetime. Still hopefully he will be around longer, but he married a younger woman um and brought the whole family together and said, listen, um, my estate's gonna go to my to my second wife. And so everybody knew, and so it wasn't gonna be a surprise later. So I think that's I think those kind of conversations, there's a lot of different ways a conversation could go, but I think some of those conversations, everybody's on the same has the same understanding, um is helpful.

SPEAKER_00 20:04

Yeah, I think that's important, especially, you know, when you talk about like you know, marriages with second or even third spouses and kids from each marriage, is family dynamics can get pretty tricky, but it is you know, it is someone's money and they can choose to do what they wish with it. And as an heir, you may think they should be doing one thing, but you know, it's it's really up to them, uh, you know, whether or not you like the idea the choice or not.

SPEAKER_02 20:38

I and I think it was it was nice, it was I think they were all happy with the choice, and I think that was happy. I think that I could see how I had just read this book called Robin, Robin Probate, where the husband told the kids, his step kids, his real kids, his real kids, his his kids, it was the second marriage, told his um wife one thing, and then the kids who was a um uh children from a different marriage told them something else. So there was this constant clashing over the estate because of because he gave them mixed stories. Um so, but yes, I think, yeah, and and you know, you think you and I think since we just even as executive, you have this idea of what's logical and what should happen. And if something doesn't happen the way you think, you think, well, you've been wronged or it's it's unfair or whatever, and maybe it is, but um, the more you know that up front, I think the better, and the better the the family relationships can continue.

SPEAKER_00 21:32

And I think that's something important is so many families have strained relationships because of a state settlement. Is everybody thinks, oh, we're gonna get along, we've been, you know, uh, you know, had a good relationship, and then somebody passes away and ill feelings are created, and it's just it it's a shame. It's it's reality, but it it is a shame. And so, you know, um one of the things you talk about is the difference between heirs and beneficiaries. What is the difference between heirs and beneficiaries?

SPEAKER_02 22:14

Okay. So I have written about this and I've just got an update. When I was looking at your your um your question, I have realized that I had didn't have the right information. Um sort of did, sort of didn't. It's and you might know this, Tony, better than I do, but I um so an heir is like designated by the state. There's like a state um law dictates who the heirs are. Not but it defines who the heirs are, not necessarily who's gonna get the money, but who the heirs are, if that makes sense. Like just typically it's a spouse, and then it's then it's children. Um, and then maybe there's grandchildren and parents and everything. And beneficiaries are people that if they can't own or the beloved, is usually how I refer to it, it's often in the substack. The person that's that's planning, they designate beneficiaries who they designate are the best beneficiaries. Sometimes the heirs of the beneficiaries are going to be the same people, if that makes sense. Um, but beneficiaries were thinking about IRAs and life insurance policies, like we talked before. Um, you can have like a brokerage account that has a you put a transfer on death um title with it, and you can name beneficiaries for that. And then the trust had beneficiaries, and then I saw something that said wills had beneficiaries, and I was like, what? I thought those wills were heirs. Um so and beneficiary, and that's a little bit, that's not a perfect um distinction. I was trying to do some little research on that. There's other distinctions that they call will, but a general term people often refer to the if they're in a will, if somebody's written a bill and has a valid will, and the people that are receiving assets are beneficiaries. Um, if for some reason someone dies without a will and hasn't made other designations, then the state law comes into play. They died in test state, is what they call it, and it the state law comes into play, and the state law then designates who's going to get the assets, and those are kind of then that kind of draws on the heirs. So in my case, my father, my mother had died, and my father, we had the the three kids, and so he did have a will. Um, and so we were we were for everything that he had, we were it was split through away, so we're all the beneficiaries. Um technically we weren't considered, we were the heirs, but that wasn't the law that applied. So heirs is you know, the the law goes how you divide the assets, how you transfer the assets depends on whether you've made a designation before. And if you haven't made a designation, then it goes to um the state law, and the state law has a hierarchy. That's the way I remember the hierarchy of heirs. I don't think that makes sense, but occasionally um state law will override a will, like if you don't designate, like if you have a child um that you don't want to include in your will. If you forget to say, oh, I've disowned this person or I'm disclaiming this person, they're not going to get any money, then the state law kind of takes over and says, Oh, you didn't say anything about this other child. So we're just gonna assume that you meant to include them and you didn't. So state law kind of overrides that. So that's a little messy way of explaining that, but state law is it dictates who the who the heirs are and you dictate who your beneficiaries are. Um, and if you don't dictate it, then it kind of goes by the state law. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_00 25:43

Yeah, no, I I I think that's a great explanation, you know, and I think the takeaway really is an heir is you know who's legally possibly entitled, uh, you know, is maybe your issue or whatever legal term you want to use is for people to think about your kids, you know, spouses, things like that. And the beneficiary is the person that you actually name formally name to receive assets. And so it can be all your heirs, it can be a couple of years. And I think it goes back to the uh situation you described, you know, is where somebody said, I'm not gonna leave money to all my heirs, I'm gonna leave money just to one of my heirs. And so I think that's important. And I think the other thing that you say that is super important to help people take away if you don't have an estate plan, the state has an estate plan for you that will probably not be in line with your wishes. So it is worth the time to have a will set up, to have a trust set up by somebody who's qualified to do so. And for people in other countries, is you know, there are different versions of this in every country. So seek out your country's laws, you know, and find out, you know, what works in your country. Um, we're definitely not giving you advice for different countries, you know, it's it's enough for us to you know talk about in the US because as Julie's pointing out, there's 50 states, you know, so that's 50 different sets of laws, plus you have the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico, you know, so that's a lot to manage right there. And everywhere's got their own thing. So it's important to find out how this works with where you live. And that brings up another very valid point is what is your legal state of residence and whose law, which state's laws are going to apply to a specific state, because they're not gonna be the laws where you live as an executor, they're gonna be the laws of the person who passed away and their residence. So yeah, there's a lot of moving parts to this. So yes. Appreciate you sharing the story. So, you know, um, before we start to close, um, you know, one of the things you and I talked about this, you've written about this, is uh you've gotten some surprises, some unpleasant surprises in dealing with financial institutions. What were some of the realities that really surprise you in dealing with financial institutions?

SPEAKER_02 28:24

There's some pleasant ones and unpleasant ones. So I think I was I'll go with the negative first, I guess, but um, I was surprised that that I would get and wasn't always given the information that I needed. I would ask for my choices. One one person asked what my choices were. I was trying to claim an IRA and they wouldn't really give me the the the choices. Um and I wanted to take an RMD because I was concerned about the RMD. Hindsight, I realized I there was some law changes in during the time that my dad died with the RMDs and how they should be taken, um, that I wasn't quite aware of. But anyway, I wanted to take the RMD. They they were they had a hedged on that. Um and at some point they, you know, they called, I called back and said, Well, how you know, they would say, Okay, well, we'll go, we'll we'll move forward with this. And then I then they never did move forward with it. And I called back and they were like, Well, you know, I'm kind of new here, and the guys in the office said that wasn't a good idea. We've never done it this way. What and I actually had to escalate that one. Um, the pleasant surprise with that at the end of that was I went on um LinkedIn and found the head of um I guess the wealth management for this particular company and joined premium and and just messaged him and say, Hey, I'm having some problems because it had been a few months. And within like an hour or two, I got a response. And he put up put me on the resolutions, resolutions team, and they within a few days we had things um straightened out. And and funny, they did ask me, they said, Well, and they they explained your options. I was like, they didn't explain my options, I kept asking for my options, and they wouldn't explain it. So and that happened, and I think other times a lot of times people would just they would lose documents. Um the the dashboard that you know, typically in most of my financial dashboards and my brokerage for my bank, if you have a you know, you can communicate um with encrypted messages and private messages, you can upload files, that kind of thing. Um the couple of companies, you can have these dashboards, but the information would disappear immediately. So I would submit something, but I could never go back and check and make sure, oh, it is submitted there, or they would say, Oh, it wasn't submitted, and I thought, well, you know, I think I did that, but I couldn't check on it. So there's the systems were clunky. Um, then people would make mistakes. I would think they would they said we have to fill out this form for you, and they would fill out the form, and you know, I've got a million things going on trying to deal with the with the estate, and they um they would make a mistake, so I didn't, you know, so I learned to check things. So that was really surprised at the um, I'm pleasantly surprised at the number of mistakes that people made. And but there were some some bright spots and some like the life insurance did settle very quickly um with that financial institution. And and some people did their jobs very efficiently and things flowed through, as they said. Um, but I was I was surprised at times when there was a glitch, it just threw things into chaos, it seemed like.

SPEAKER_00 31:21

Yeah, and that was my own experience is doing uh life insurance analysis, you know, because you know, uh my job was dependent upon receiving information from insurance companies. Some insurance companies were very good at sending, you know, the information I requested fully, completely, in a timely fashion. And other financial, you know, insurance companies would send bits and pieces of it, or you know, I'd have to follow up multiple times. And so I think, you know, that's a really important thing for people to take away. Here is that you have to stay on top of these financial institutions. Some are going to be better than others. You're dealing with people, and now you're dealing with AI, and AI, while it has its positives, it also has its negatives. So you have to make sure you're tracking these things and following up. And I think, you know, in the smell test, if something doesn't seem like it's quite right or you don't feel like you're getting the information, then follow up, you know, as you did with in a different way. Um, I think the other thing though, too, is now that you do have AI, something like ChatGPT, is you can ask ChatGPT some of the questions about what your options should be. And while it won't always be 100% accurate, it will give you some new things to think about. And I think that's uh super important. So I'm glad you bring that up because you know, even within a financial institution, you might reach somebody who's not going to be quite as uh experienced as somebody else. You know, if somebody's new, you know, unfortunately they may not do the job somebody else can do. So um is there any you know single piece of advice you'd give to someone who might be named an executor for them to think about besides like take a deep breath? Besides what? Besides take a deep breath.

SPEAKER_02 33:28

So I mean, I I think to me what probably what I'd advise was to learn as much about if you can about a state work um and finances. The more you know about finances, whether you're settling a state or not, I think the better um the better off you'll be, just in general, but also as an executor. Um and I was never um, I definitely got frustrated with the um the people I had to work with, but I didn't I never fully felt intimidated. And I I can imagine being very intimidated if I didn't have a finance background and I hadn't worked in banking um years ago, but I hadn't. So, but the more the more you know in general, I think the better. Just the financial literacy is a base, and then um more about state settlement through books, and hopefully I'll have a book coming out while we're trying to work on a fiction fiction book about my story. So the more you can know, the better.

SPEAKER_00 34:26

Yeah, I think that's really valuable advice is you know, financial literacy can help you in a lot of ways, but knowledge always gives you confidence. Um, you know, my book, you know, there's that saying knowledge is power. And uh, you know, that's a very accurate statement. So, Julie, to close out, I have what's called the Garretti Hot Take Trio. These are three quick questions I'm asking all my guests. Uh, the first one is what's one myth about being an executor you wish everyone would let go.

SPEAKER_02 34:57

So I the one I wish people would let go of when I was discussing it was um talking with friends, is that I wasn't the crazy one. You know, I think you think that the executors go, then they are, they're going through grief, they're learning a lot of new things, but so many things that went wrong were not my fault. Um, and so I think people will let go that you know you're not operating, you know, things are not there's an impeachment assumption that things aren't going well for me or an executor because the executor doesn't know what they're doing. Um while that might be true some of the times, I think very often it's not going well because the financial institutions or some of the people that they're dealing with just aren't doing their job. And so you're having to do two jobs. You're having to do the executor job, then you're also having to really monitor other people's jobs as well.

SPEAKER_00 35:47

Definitely, definitely. Well, you know, and that is, I guess, part of being an executor. And then, as you said, is you have your own grief that you're trying to process at the same time as you're doing that. And, you know, if you're a parent, you got your kids running around and you know, you have everything else going on at the same time. So it's, you know, I would say, you know, just put aside a little bit of time each week to do your executor job and to see it through. Um, so that's great advice. So, Julie, let's get out the time machine right now. So, if you could go back in time to before you were an executor, what's one tip you would give yourself?

SPEAKER_02 36:28

So, can I be very specific? This is a kind of oh, yeah. One of the things that happened to us is um my dad had decided in his mid-90s, I guess, that he wasn't gonna drive anymore. So he gave the car to my uh sister, which was fun. Um, but he never found the title. And and so the title wasn't transferred over, and so he was still he still had the title, still was in his name, still was paying insurance. Um, and that would have been a pretty simple fix to change the title over and change all that. Simple if you found the title. Um and you know, a day, a day's report. Well, we didn't find a title. I didn't know anything about this. I just knew that I thought everything was done. I didn't I didn't think to ask about a title. Anyway, after he died, um I did find a title, but I couldn't transfer it immediately. I had to wait to get letters testamentary and then wait for the um the notice of creditors period to pass. And that's like a four-month period that I couldn't actually make that transfer, and then I was concerned again, risk management, concerned about liability. I kept the liability in place, but I was still concerned. I didn't I didn't have time necessarily to research liability law and how that would happen if they happened to have an accident and all that. But that was a concern for me, and that was some stress that added on to this process is that I couldn't I couldn't act. Um, I could see the risk, but I can only do a certain amount to mitigate it. So just take sometimes there's certain things that you can take care of before somebody dies that are really simple, uh, but get very complicated um afterwards if you wait.

SPEAKER_01 38:07

So that would be careful.

SPEAKER_00 38:11

Yeah, I'm just making a note on that because I think that's really important is you know, this is a gift you can leave to your heirs, is to have your state organized and to take care of what needs to what can be taken care of before you pass away because it's much easier to do that. Um you know, so that's that's awesome advice. Um take care of your business. It's a great gift you can leave for your kids and your loved ones. So, Julie, what's your number one tip to change the way we think about money and being an executor?

SPEAKER_02 38:50

So I what I would want you to think about is think about um like adult responsibilities. And I say this, and there's still, I think about there's things that I've learned even as a later life adult, like learn how to deal with contractors or deal with plumbers. There was some you know issues. Um learn about estates. There's so much that we can learn um that can help us in life. Um learn about planning a funeral, throwing about dealing with a funeral home. It could be talking with your kids more about the money, things that we kind of think of a we may or may not gravitate as to as adults, or maybe, but the more adulting skills you can do, the more financial skills I think you can do, the better off you'll be, and the better off I think your family will be.

SPEAKER_00 39:33

That's awesome. That's awesome. Yeah, and I think that's you know, it's it's a little bit beyond financial literacy, is I think, you know, financial literacy sort of caps what people should know is that we need to go beyond, like you said, is learn about legacy, you know, think about our family dynamics, advanced directives, all those things, understand how all those things work is because that's another area where I've seen a lot of family friction, is when somebody needs care and the advanced directive is not in line with what members of the family think that somebody would want. So, you know, there's a lot of factors there that you bring up. So that's awesome. So, Julie, where can people learn more about you, your work, and subscribe to your newsletter?

SPEAKER_02 40:24

So I'm gonna send you to julieraines.com because from there you can subscribe to the newsletter, the Substack. Um, I think it's I can't remember the whole it's this Julie Raines at Substack or Julie Rain Substack. Um, and that's the save, invest, protect, preserve name. That's what I'm calling that. So that julyraigns.com and also tells about my book and some other websites and more about me. So that would I would send them there. Thank you for asking.

SPEAKER_00 40:50

Yeah, fantastic. And for everybody watching and listening, if you have access to the show notes, all those links will be in the show notes. So you can go there to get the links. So, Julie, thanks for coming back on the podcast and sharing insights. Appreciate it. Sure. Thank you for having me. Yeah, and thank you, everyone, as always, for tuning in to this episode of Get Ready Before Life Happens. You if you like this episode, please be sure to share and subscribe. You can also go to my website at Tony Stewart.com to join the Get Ready Movement. And if you want to support this podcast, you can go to buy meacoffee.com slash Tony Stewart. Because when life happens, the way you think about money matters.